I’ve recently unfollowed just about 700 accounts on Instagram. You read that right: seven hundred. I now follow right around 400 which means that at some point I was following over 1,000.
I shouldn’t tell you this because it might encourage you to go unfollow a bunch of accounts and that might mean you’ll unfollow me and that would make me sad and filled with angst and stressed out about people not liking me. But I actually think it might be the best advice I could offer when it comes to Instagram.
If it doesn’t make your life – and more importantly – your soul better, let it go. Unfollow. Turn off notifications. Maybe even delete the whole thing from your phone for a few days (or forever. Whatever works.).
I started using Instagram because it was new and fun (the filters! The rounded corners! The behind-the-scenes peeks!) and continue all these years later because it is still fun and feels important for this online business I run. I try to find that balance between posting photos that are pretty to get likes and comments and shares and ultimately grow my following and posting photos that are pretty just because I like to.
(Side note: quite honestly, I’m not sure there is a huge correlation between my number of Instagram followers and business success as we’ve gone about blogging/business a little differently. But I continue anyway).
At the same time, I’m an Instagram user and it can feel so pointless and shallow and not life-giving for me to spend time every single day scrolling and scrolling and scrolling through images of strangers’ lives and homes and kids.
Tell me I’m not alone in this … it is weird, right?!
I’m trying not to be cynical because that doesn’t really get us anywhere. I’m just in this place of deeply paying attention to what I do and how it makes me feel. Instagram is one of those things I haven’t quite sorted out.
Do I love it?
Instagram is full of beautiful photos and visually inspiring ideas. It is a way to connect with friends and family and celebrities and influencers that we don’t get to hang out with on a day-to-day basis (or ever). It has become a micro-blogging platform for quickly writing and sharing. It becomes a digital scrapbook, or even better, an actual scrapbook if you get your pictures turned into books. It has grown businesses and offered opportunity, a sense of community and humor and brought awareness to important issues.
Or maybe do I hate it?
With Instagram, we get lost in someone else’s life, someone else’s travels, someone else’s fitness/style/food/decorating/parenting journey while we stare at our phones and ignore our own. It so easily stirs up a sense of comparison and discontent. It gives us an incomplete snapshot of whoever we’re following which leads us to believe we’re somehow worse off or less-than or missing out. It creates a sense of community that makes us forget how important real-life friendships are. It lures us in with its likes and followers and analytics that feel inflating when they’re going up and crushing when they fall. It pressures us with the hope that if we post the best photos from the best angles with the best lighting and cleverest captions we’ll get noticed and liked and make it big.
See what I mean? It’s great and not great at the same time.
The good thing is, we get to choose.
We get to choose who we follow, how it makes us feel, how often we scroll and for how long. We get to decide if we post or not post and let Instagram serve us instead of the other way around. Which is why I deleted 700 follows. I stopped following a bunch of accounts not because any of them were bad or not inspiring or posted by someone who is probably a wonderful person in real life. But rather, I stopped following for one of three reasons:
- If every time I saw a post and it made me feel all compare-y and unsettled – like I wasn’t keeping up or measuring up – I stopped following. The issue of insecurity is in my own heart and has nothing to do with the account I’m jealous of, but one good step in healing is removing the thing that keeps tripping you up. There were not too many like this, but there were a few and it felt good to just let them go.
- If I was following someone whom I didn’t know and never would know, I figured I didn’t really need to see what they were doing every day. This eliminated pretty much every celebrity I was following. Except for @kensingtonroyal because I really like the British royal family.
- If I couldn’t remember why I started following to begin with and wasn’t super excited about any of the most recent photos, I unfollowed.
Just like that, 700 down.
At the same time, I also removed Instagram notifications from my phone. I no longer get a message when someone leaves a comment which means I pick up my phone and open Instagram one hundred less times per day. It also meant getting used to not having that regular affirmation in the form of Instagram comments popping up on my phone throughout the day. I’m embarrassed to say that it took some getting used to.
So that’s where I am right now. I still like Instagram. I still post and comment and scroll every day. I’m being much pickier about what I post – I don’t want to just throw a photo up for the sake of staying on top of the algorithm and keep followers.
My goal with everything I do online is to create a space where when you leave you feel better, not worse, about your life. I want you to feel less alone, more normal, encouraged to see beauty in the every day and inspired to do something creative in your home or with your hands.
I still hate it a little, too. I wish that darn followers number didn’t captivate me like it does and make me feel better or worse about myself.
I’d love to know where you’re at with Instagram. Do you love it? Not love it? Do you have any tricks or boundaries you’ve set to make it work for your life? Let’s have a heart to heart about Instagram …
Hi Emily
I’ve been following you for a very long time and on Instagram too! I like to discover what you paint and how you live in the USA, in general because I have never been there! I have 3 children who have grown up and I blog since 2012, full of common points … That may be why I am following you on the new blog and Instagram! Delighted to see your evolution because I also see that I evolve and I blog less and less like you, for lack of time and desire, I write differently, it is just that which has changed because our lives, my life has changed. You have to accept it and move on. You can be proud of yourself and what you know accomplished, look behind is good to see the progress made. You are always inspiring to me, thank you!
Emily, I too have followed you through your blog for several years, maybe the beginning. Being inspired feels great, but not being able to design or execute all the projects in my head grows frustrating. I’ve learned to limit my “scrolling” on IG. I find that I beat myself up for using that time to scroll, when I could be creating. When I’m wondering what someone is up to, I now search for them and stop by a picture or two. I’m excited for your growth. I used to think Wow, we have so much in common with the graphic design, sketching and family. Lol I’ll still be following your blog. As it’s always a pleasure to see your name in my inbox. Your site is beautiful. God bless you.
Thank you Blair. It is a challenge but a good thing to think about as we navigate social media in our daily lives!
Hey Emily, Wow this is exactly what I wanted to hear right now. I am hoping to do a bit more with my watercolour art in the form of Christian cards in the near future (already been a photographer and card designer). But the Christian Cards I just want to use God’s talent he’s given me to encourage others. But I struggle with not wanting others to waste time on FB or Instagram to be following me. In the past year I nearly unfollowed everyone on those platforms as I was wasting too much time on it or started to feel sorry for myself and not satisfied with how my life turned out. Obviously I did continue to follow you on Instagram and love all the encouragement you share on there. Hence it is so lovely to hear this honest opinion of social media. There’s just nothing organic about it, yet if you want to own a business you’re almost forced to have to interact in this way. But I also realize, that God has provided every single client that we’ve had. His ways are always better than ours, and He knows just what we need. So thanks Emily for all your encouragement and brave words. God bless. xx Deborah
This blog post inspired me to take a hard look at who I’m following and why. I’m with you in that Instagram can be good and bad at the same time. I don’t own a business so I don’t post. I use instagram to just scroll and gather inspiration but sometimes can’t help to feel a tad bit jealous of other people. When that happens I remind myself that the picture is just a snapshot of their now and doesn’t represent their whole life or their struggles. I’m really loving your new blog. Keep posting!
I love this post. I actually gave up Instagram (among other things) for Lent because it was really making me not feel very good about myself. I was finding myself being jealous, envious, even feeling hatred toward some of those I followed. It was terrible, ridiculous, absurd to feel like that toward people I DON’T EVEN KNOW. Plus the over-consumerism of it all, the comparison, I had to stop and I’m so glad I did.
I’m feeling more content now! Hey…I’m loving your new blog!
Hi Emily, your writings are just what I have been experiencing lately – we don’t need to live, hear about God, or be creative second hand. We need to do it first hand, and this derivative life on Instagram is good in how it magnifies the good (being a great mom, being healthy and creative) but something gets lost in translation when we aren’t letting our own experiences drive our hearts and minds and souls. I am shocked at the times I let it rob me of joy because I am not by nature jealous or inclined to compare. Our real life is the only place true joy can be found, and if that is what we are after we have to realize it can’t be found on the app. Distraction and mindless escape? Yes. Meaning and peace? No. As long as we are eyes wide open we can keep it in its proper place. Thank you for sharing!
I am actually struggling with this very thing right now. I had a craft account with over 1500 followers and I deleted it because I had it for 6 years and every time I logged in I felt burdened down like I had to post something.
I started a simpler craft account and a personal account. They are both quiet. I am just struggling with the time and attention factor now. …like wow what a complete waste of time that belonged to my family. so yeah, the struggle is real.
I am glad I found your new blog. I actually prayed Lord help me find out what happened to Jones Design Co. and when I logged into your site it had the new link at the top.
Wishing you blessings on your journey. Thank you for sharing. I am already encouraged by Emily Lex.
Last night, before I received your e-mail,I unfollowed a lot of people too.
Hi Emily
I am an Artist who lives in London England I am always being advised to go on Instagram to sell my art, my daughter set it up for me and honestly I always forget to look at it, maybe as my husband has not even got a mobile phone, we do not have a T.V anymore.
We are both reborn again christians and we now have Bible study and read the word
I feel my creative passion has shifted too, your journey has inspired me.
I pray and ask for a clear direction and believe that the Lord will provide.
Have a blessed day
Count me in the love Instagram group. 😉 I deleted my Facebook account in January and that has been a huge blessing. My favorite thing about Instagram? It’s the way I create our family photo albums and have for many years. There’s a service, Chatbooks, that will print your posts (it’s a little clunky to use in terms of dates) into a book. Our kids love looking through the books from previous years and one day, when I’m gone, they’ll have the books. So that’s the primary benefit but the other is that I prefer pretty pictures over people’s long political rants. I guess it does depend who you follow, though. I follow several size inclusive ladies who are not skinny AND wear lovely clothes and have even sweeter hearts. I follow just a few home related accounts but only ones that are encouraging and not discouraging and then getting to see my friends’ photos of their kiddos, flowers, etc. It works for me but I can certainly see how it could *not* work.